My Biggest Fear | A Poem

As a girl bounded by
the age of playing around
and the age of taking everything seriously,
I became too observant.

Too many why's;
too many how's;
all these things I found,
and gradually made me a servant.

Some people say,
"If they want to leave,
the door will always be open."
But can I be different?

Can I close my door?
Must I throw the keys,
that will lock everyone in?
Can I escape this inevitable pain?

Is it that hard to get this wish?
That I and my memories will live,
longer than this lifetime and
in the same souls that I made them with?

This truth always frightens me;
Gradually, consumes me to death.
One of those hurtful realities
that you would trade for a dream, instead.

What do human always say?
that "people come and go", and "that's life"?
How can they utter such words easily?
Without dying while they are alive.

Is it scary that all these souls and things
that you are cherishing at this very moment,
will slowly turn into pictures and sounds
that your head will play over and over again.

Is that what this life really meant?
I know every earthly thing is transient,
but can you add the hurt with them?
So that you will feel no pain?

Unfortunately, everyone can't.


[not yet finished...]
[Made a blog about this; if you want to read it, click here]

Sincere thoughts | 013115

I am always late—
Like someone comes first before me.

I am always the second option—
Like if she will not adore you, I'll be here still.

I am always not good enough—
Like you'll say I am pretty, nice and bubbly,

But it will never work,
Because simply "you do not like me".

(pgp)

Irony

It is funny when we fall in love with someone,

and they love you at first, 

but kill all the vibes after.

It is funny when we try again and again,

because we're young yet naive;

however, they all end tragically.

It is funny when we get scared finally,

and decided to shut all out,

but left a little hole of hope still.

It is funny when we say we're done,

with all the love and sweet things,

but fell easily with a grin.

It is funny when we catch ourselves smiling,

and being happy for being blind,

forgetting all the pain this time.

It is funny when we think we'll never love again,

but realizing we're happy in lying,

because of that little hole we left.

It is funny when we become dependent again,

allowing them to take the power to hold us,

and to let us fall hard anytime.

It is funny when we are being dropped again,

but this time, there's no more space to have scratches,

and we are left hopelessly dead.

It is funny, isn't it?

Being sick and tired of being sick of it.

It makes no sense, I know-

Probably because, sometimes, love works ironically.

Someone that I call Mama

Thanks to someone who is always present,
When there are situations that I can't bear.
When I stumbled down again,
She was there to help me grin.

She let me walk on my own,
But she never left my side.
She teaches me when I'm wrong,
So that I'll grow up right.

She is someone who made me cry,
When I was scolded by her.
But my love for her will never die,
Because I understand her.

This is for all the Nanay, Mama, Ina, Inay, Mom and Mommy;
And for all the single ladies that act like a mom to me.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you,
And may God helps us to go through.

 Date: May 13, 2012 - 9:33AM

Star of mine

You are the star that holds my heart;

The star that is immensely far.

I am here to look at my star;

though in here, it is very dark.

I'm nothing but a useless lad;

That;ll just sit and look at her love.

Wish that I can tell to my God;

He'll be the best gift that I'll have.

I can't help myself but to die;

O God, please help me to be fine.

He'll be forever in my heart;

And will stay alive in my life.

Someday, I'm going to reach you;

I'll do my best to make it true.

But today, I'll be in blue;

At least someday, It will be new.

April 9-10, 2012

While heading to Quezon City.

Face To Face With Him

What will you do if you will have a chance to see Jesus Christ?
Will you look into His eyes?
Or will you just simply say hi?

What will you feel?
Will it feel uncomfortable like wearing high heels? 
Or will it feel good like you had a great deal?

What will you say?
Will you say all the problems that made you dismay? 
Or the few good things that made you say "good day"? 

What will you ask?
Will you ask for a mask to hide your sins? 
Or a salvation that will no longer need a sack of gold to make you grin?


Date: April 08, 2012
Review from: The Encounter

Lovestruck - Ronald Molmisa

L-O-V-E. These are the letters that you can see, hear, touch, or even smell or taste everywhere. We seldom find ourselves thinking a certain scene that is connected to love. We always search for the right person, but don’t you think it’s about time to understand that love is not about finding the right person; it’s about how to be the one. Now, the question is, How will you know if it is TL (True Love) or PL (Puppy Love)? Let’s start with the PL.

•  PUPPY LOVE | Arf, arf, arf

              Everyone knows that puppies do silly things. They don’t think before doing something means that they are careless. They will be okay if someone taps their head that shows attention which we don’t know if it is sincere or not. This kind of love starts in the age of 7 and above. Even if your 30, 40 or even 60, if you don’t think first before acting and you don’t do good deeds, you’re still immature. What are the marks of a juvenile?

• They lack of understanding. They seldom misunderstood something and never let their loved one explain.
• They are easy to be deceived. They are just basing their beliefs in the action of somebody that is why they are easy to be betrayed.
• They are annoying. They always nag about everything. Yes, everything and always. They want to be the head of the relationship. They want to manipulate all the happenings and even the whole relationship.
• They are selfish. They are so jealous about everything; family, friends, relatives, school or even to God. It is because their hearts are not yet ready for commitment.
• They are so crazy. People today are really crazy to be in love. They think it’s cool and in-fashion, but it’s not. They see their loved one’s face everywhere. It’s not love but obsession. Love knows how to be in the right track; not too high or too low.

Lastly. . .

• They are infatuated. Infatuated came from the word “infatuation” means “a passion for somebody that is intense but short-time.” It can be change because it is just an emotion. Remember, emotion changes really fast; it only based on the physical which means that if the physical appearance of a person changes, the feelings will change too. Therefore, infatuation is too different from love.
• True Love | Ayieeeeee

              John stated in John 3:16 that “For God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life”. Giving is one of the most important deeds in TL. Giving came from the word “give” which mean “to bestow without expecting something in return.” That’s what God did when He sacrifices His Son for us to die on the cross, to suffer from the torn and nails. He did it all for us! For us to refrain from going to hell and to have an eternal life. Imagine, the love that no one could ever replace is the love that God shows on the cross. A unique and pure love, God’s love.

™      Is “love at first sight” real?

“Searching for the my dream, the Subway Girl”

                                      
 A romantic love story surfed the Internet last 2007; a 21 year old New Yorker, Patrick Moberg, made a website (http://nygirlofmydream.com) to find a mystery girl that he saw wearing blue shirt and tides on the subway station. There came an Australian Magazine Intern, Camille Hayton. Many hang on to their love story that started on November 2007. They had a quiet relationship but on Feb 2009, Camille stated in her interview that they were already had a break up since July 2008. They just lasted two months. Their love story is one of the million examples of LFS.

Therefore, we can say that love at first sight is NOT true---

The truth is that it’s not love but attraction. According to Patrick-Camille Love story, Only Patrick did all the loving stuff; Camille just gave him a chance but she didn’t see any reason to continue their relationship.

 Is “an absolute and endless love” real?

“14 years? That’s what you called Patience”

If you really want to prove that true love is true, here’s one of many true-to-life love story that you can give. In Genesis 29, Jacob really showed his love for Raquel. Their love story started when Jacob first saw her, it really showed that he loves her, not only on words but also in works. In their culture, before someone asks for her loved one’s hand, he should work first for seven years in the girl’s family. Jacob really did what their culture said but when the seven years ended, Lavan, father of Raquel, made a feast for Jacob’s wedding. Not knowing that it was Lea, Raquel’s elder sister, who made love with Jacob. Jacob really got mad. Lavan explained that in their culture, the eldest should be married first before the youngest. So Jacob decided to wait and work another seven years and after his sacrifices and patience, they finally got married and Raquel gave birth to Joseph and Benjamin.

Can you do that? Can you wait for more than 1 month for a girl? This story wants to tell you that sacrifice, pain and hardship will never break a true love, only true love.

There is a love that is more glorious, great, absolute and endless than Jacob’s. If you want to know it, know God first whose love Himself. In Corinthians 13, the Bible stated that Love is everything that is good. Obviously, only one is qualified when we are talking about righteousness and He is our God. John 3:16 stated that God sacrifices His Son for us. He loves His Son yet He’s willing to sacrifice Him for us. Does your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/family can do that? And if yes, is it for you or for his/her own good? We always do bad deeds and there were times that we are ignoring Him yet He is still for us. That is the True Love that you are wanting for all of your love, you just don’t know it. Now you know it, are you willing to repent and take away your sins? How? Here is the way:

Date Written:  November 09, 2012

Date Published: April 06, 2012
Date Edited: July 20, 2016

By: Paula Grace Fernandez Perez

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