I am so confused

I’m so confused,

I want to love you but I can’t.

I want to stay close to you but I can’t.

I want to expect these things but I can’t.

I don’t wanna live,

loving someone who doesn’t love me but I can’t help myself.

I feel so crashed, I don’t know.

Maybe God is giving me a trial that I must finish.

But what should I do? Help me.

I’m so confused.